fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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Sending emails to teachers
Me: Sounding extremely formal, using fancy words, correcting grammar and spelling at least 63 times.
Teacher: Ok lol thanxx :-)
tentacoolaid:

i love this bible verse

tentacoolaid:

i love this bible verse

roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.
i refused.
a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.

i refused.

a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

dunkindont:

ALMOST THE SAME

dunkindont:

ALMOST THE SAME

ohshititsgreg:

If we’re dating and you don’t let me pretend to play bongo drums on your butt then guess what? We’re through

gymleaderkarkat:


What are you so afraid of!?

I’m REALLY sorry but it looks like they’re about to rap battle

gymleaderkarkat:

What are you so afraid of!?

I’m REALLY sorry but it looks like they’re about to rap battle

wifibox:

looking at my blog like 

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dangstrider:

PEOPLE WHO BUMP THE DESK WHILE YOU’RE DRAWING/WRITING

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nickiminajvevo:

when you see something you wanna reblog but refresh the page

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flatbear:

cumberbitch-in-a-tardis:

marin-fluently-sarcastic:

counterpunches:

Gordon Ramsay is my favorite.

i just want to hug all of them

Fun story. I cooked for this dude, once. I did my kitchen apprenticeship at the family-style restaurant of one of New Zealand’s premiere chefs, and he knew Ramsay really well. He was in New Zealand for a few weeks, and Martin brought him by the restaurant to check it out. It was right on the beach, fucking gorgeous. I was the only one there (apprentice = bitch work = 4am starting shifts), and they asked me to whip up some breakfast for them. It was SUPER simple, fried fish, eggs cooked in bread, sausages. He was incredibly gracious and kind, asked me to join them (I couldn’t, too much work to do, so they sat at the kitchen window so they could talk to me), and was super interested in hearing about my english grandma, who had taught me how to cook. I won’t hear a single bad word against this man, for all of his kitchen hysterics, he treated me like an equal.

fanboyin:

Stephen King being Stephen King

mako-symptoms:

this will always be funny

jackwhitevevo:

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes